Ever felt like giving up?
You're this image that people have of you that you are just so perfect, beautiful, innocent, a wife to be, and someone people appreciate and want to have you around...
But life is always like this - it gets tough, you can't decide who you want to be, or who you really are. Life makes you question yourself - when you brush teeth staring at the reflection - Who is this girl? Who is Jolene?
Many times, in my recent 2 years of my life - I'm lost (still am). I used to be this girl who knows exactly what she wants to achieve in life. I still remember my dreams - I had my own business at the age of 21yrs old (which i achieved), and the next business I woud like to build was a Plastic surgery center.
I also have a dream of travelling the world, in adventures so I can write my book! This dream is much more random, un-planned.
So many situation, I play this organized freak who wants to be in control of what I want to do in my life. On the other hand, I want to just have fun with randomness, or at least try to be random.
Maybe I'm pressuring myself as I was previously full of dreams, hopes, positiveness, ever smiley face. But now, I don't even dare to hope because hope brings dissappointments, I don't even dream anymore, simply because I just don't believe anymore.
I just realize something today - I AM NOT HAPPY.
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About Me
- Jolene Loh
- KL, Malaysia
- I have a cat name chai chai. He blogs too sometimes... so don't get confused!
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6 comments:
interestingly - a guy responded to me via facebook. i thought its worth while to paste his comments here ~~ :)
MR. R:
btw if u're interested in a guy and messed it up, do ring him up. guys can be very forgiving with girls they r interested in. and it will clear up his confusion too.
u have to know that most guys are interested in flings. guys aren't emotional like women. we don't usually fall in love. it's very rare. most times, it's pretence to get the girl interested.
if they are interested in u, there's a good chance u will end up as good friends and nothing more.
for marriage, usually u have to find a guy who's already got that on his mind. he'll usually start talking about it soon after u get to know it. then, u'll probably get bored with him as he's no longer exciting.
like it or not, good guys often finish last.
we can have our dreams, achieve all that we can achieve, get all the things we can get, enjoy all the enjoyable things, place and activities we want to. However, there's still a sense of emptiness inside. There must be more than this to life.
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"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes,ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
All things are wearisome, more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
quote Ecclesiastes 1:2-10
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Has our pursuit of knowledge and worldly pleasure left us sated and cynical? Do we need to redirect our pursuit from a wholly different perspective?
wow. and hey~~ you're back!
that's just simply breath-taking.
i like the one..
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
we always want to live our life to the fullest... but yet. it's still empty.
there must be more than this to life. (AMEN!)
If u were here. I'd open a bottle of champagne and cheers with you!
If there is absolute no hope or expectation, would not life be boring and meaningless? Getting disappointed is part and parcel of life. The important thing is we learn from our experience when we are down, and we get up on our feet again. In life, one can either live life as a flicker of light, or burn and shine the brightest before turning into ash.
Hahaha... yeap it's me again. :) And AMEN together with you, Jolene. Hope you get well soon! :)
danny : yes. you are right... it's always up to us how we want to live life...
and like what i always write -- we are born to be happy... not sad. a reader reminded me of that... thanks bud~~
Someone: I'm gonna name you someone now ... shorter to type. thanks... ya. i do hope i get beter... lol ^_^
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