Sunday, May 31, 2009

Feeling Lost

In many instances, I felt like a part of me went missing... A big part of me – the happy me where I’m bubbly as always... the part of me that is so confident that Nothing in this world is impossible... That ME is lost. Many would ask “but... WHY?”...

The one woman that I had most respect for (apart from my mom), the one person that I truly loved and care for was my Grandma. She who told bedtime stories, she who taught me how to be strong, she who stroke me to sleep when I was just a little girl. As I grew up, she stayed back in Penang with Uncle and it is always a good thing that we head down to Penang to visit her. As I drove back the other day – can’t help thinking that she’s not there anymore... that she won’t be smiling at me, chatting with me, telling me that I’m too old and no other guys want to marry me anymore... *sniff*.

My grandma – passed away at the age of 93 years old, the one thing I hate to admit or face the reality... as I kept repeating to myself “She promised she would be there at my Wedding...”. Sometimes, I tear to myself in the bathroom – thinking about how she was here and I didn’t have the time to spend some quality time with her. She must have been disappointed.

I’ve always put work in front of family – and now it’s too late to regret. I know deep down inside – I love her and she will be there for me during my wedding. Grandma, I missed you!