Sunday, May 31, 2009

Feeling Lost

In many instances, I felt like a part of me went missing... A big part of me – the happy me where I’m bubbly as always... the part of me that is so confident that Nothing in this world is impossible... That ME is lost. Many would ask “but... WHY?”...


The one woman that I had most respect for (apart from my mom), the one person that I truly loved and care for was my Grandma. She who told bedtime stories, she who taught me how to be strong, she who stroke me to sleep when I was just a little girl. As I grew up, she stayed back in Penang with Uncle and it is always a good thing that we head down to Penang to visit her. As I drove back the other day – can’t help thinking that she’s not there anymore... that she won’t be smiling at me, chatting with me, telling me that I’m too old and no other guys want to marry me anymore... *sniff*.


My grandma – passed away at the age of 93 years old, the one thing I hate to admit or face the reality... as I kept repeating to myself “She promised she would be there at my Wedding...”. Sometimes, I tear to myself in the bathroom – thinking about how she was here and I didn’t have the time to spend some quality time with her. She must have been disappointed.


I’ve always put work in front of family – and now it’s too late to regret. I know deep down inside – I love her and she will be there for me during my wedding. Grandma, I missed you!

6 comments:

Choobacca said...

I know how you feel and would like to share with you my thoughts:

My dad passed away not long ago, he was only 68. I know he did not get his wishes too, seeing me getting hitched. I knew this from his close friend "Haji" the taxi driver who takes him to the dialysis clinic 3 times a week.

Your grandma is watching over you from the heavens above. Rest assured she will be there when you need her, in times of your darkest hour. You will never be alone.

If you still not convinced, talk to me.

jack said...

aww... my condolences..

Rick Taylor said...

I am sorry for your loss.

Dont fret. She will be there at your wedding. You might not see her, but you will feel her presence...just wait. You will see.

Jolene Loh said...

thanks for all ur sweet loving message.

Jack = got hair cut?

Rick = thanks mate. i know... it would be dedicated to her ^_^

jack said...

yeep.. few month ago.. wow.. can tell? hehe.. (^^)..

Anonymous said...

Take it that life is faithed. She has to go...I am sure she will and always with you.

Remember, you are not alone, me too!