Monday, May 12, 2008

no expectation vs disappointment

Have you ever been caught in a situation where you found yourself disappointed at something.... and just as when you could find the reason to blame... it was yourself?

Through experiences, I’ve started to have this theory about the correlation between expectation & disappointment.

Cherry is sad. She’s frustrated at this colleague of hers that just wouldn’t listen to her opinion and she’s having her PMS.
Double Trouble!

Cherry looked at the clock it’s 5 more minutes.. til 6pm! I SOOO need to get out of this office!...

At 6pm sharp, she leaves the office... and walk towards the car, as she walks – she finds herself scrolling down the phonebook of her phone to BABY.

She ask herself should I call him? ... mm.. Maybe he’s busy now... then she told herself well, if he really loves me... he would know how I feel now and he would call me after his work to ask how was my day.. then I can pour out my sorrows. Great plan!

Soon enough... 7pm pass by so fast... Cherry looks at her phone again... Network is working alright...

The phone rang... Cherry was so happy and quickly answered her phone... Hi babes! What you doing tonight?... It wasn’t BABY – It was her best friend – Kelly. Feeling a bit disappointed... Cherry answered nothing much... just nothing..

After dinner... she looked at the time again ... it’s 8.30pm ... Is he going to call? Why doesn’t he call or SMS?

The thing about this situation is that it’s so common for all of us – whether it’s baby... or hubby or darling or sweetie...

So, what if we don’t have expectation of the other party at all? Would we be happier? We get so excited when he/she does something when we not least expected...

BUT, are we suppose to have expectation at all?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi,
It's normal to have expectations towards people who matters to you, especially your other half. I expect a lot from my bf too and sometimes it could be unreasonable or appears very demanding and not understanding, but it was because he is important in my life.
The only time we wont expect anything is when we do not really care about the other person.
This is the ups and downs of a r/ship. No matter what communication is still the most important thing. You still need to understand it's not cheap to call from a place so far away.

Anonymous said...

Wow.
It's normal for guys to feel like this, too.
It is 2008. Yes, she SHOULD call him.
Why can't women be the one to call at 6:00 pm, after work, and ask how HIS day was so that he can pour out HIS sorrows?
It's a two way street, after all.
If SHE really loves HIM she would know how he feels.
It works both ways. If neither person calls, you end up having two people feeling sorry for themselves, and that's not much of a relationship.
A Frustrated Guy

:: Nicole.F :: said...

i think girls sometimes expects too much from a guy.. i still remember this year's valentine's day.. i expected my hubby to do something special.. like what he did last year BUT too bad, he didn't.. it was disappointing at first but i guess i've to live with it..

don't put too much expectations coz at the end, u'd get alot more disappointment :)

Jolene Loh said...

Anonymous : thanks for your comment - I totally agree with you about the phone bill.. it's a heavy investment ;p

Frustrated Guy : YES! It should be both ways - I'm glad my relationship is both ways!!! but what if ONE parties doesn't respond - does that mean the other party should have no expectation to keep themselves happy?

nicole : ON THE DOT! that was the point that I was trying to make. Guys & girls are just different species all together ~ most important thing is to be happy. Somehow that happiness will reflect to the relationship...

Anonymous said...

If one party doesn't respond then there is a mismanagement of expectations: someone is expecting something to happen while the other isn't.

They should talk and figure out what to do so that the uncomfortable, nagging thought of being uncared for isn't a factor.

:: Nicole.F :: said...

there's no harm in having expectations but guys just won't know that we want/expect/thinking.. so yea, sometimes we have to tell the guys what's in our mind :)

Eileen said...

LDR sucks (I am not being discouraging), but well everything have 2 sides. If both of you love each other so much to hang on to it, then when the time comes that both of you are finally together -- It will make it special.

Oh well, guys are guys, gals are gals, mars is mars, venus is venus. We should learn not to expect and learn to appreciate what our partner have offer. But once in a while, you need to knock your man's head to ask them to be alert :P

*Pointing at jp*