who am i?

Ever felt like giving up?

You're this image that people have of you that you are just so perfect, beautiful, innocent, a wife to be, and someone people appreciate and want to have you around...

But life is always like this - it gets tough, you can't decide who you want to be, or who you really are. Life makes you question yourself - when you brush teeth staring at the reflection - Who is this girl? Who is Jolene?

Many times, in my recent 2 years of my life - I'm lost (still am). I used to be this girl who knows exactly what she wants to achieve in life. I still remember my dreams - I had my own business at the age of 21yrs old (which i achieved), and the next business I woud like to build was a Plastic surgery center.

I also have a dream of travelling the world, in adventures so I can write my book! This dream is much more random, un-planned.

So many situation, I play this organized freak who wants to be in control of what I want to do in my life. On the other hand, I want to just have fun with randomness, or at least try to be random.

Maybe I'm pressuring myself as I was previously full of dreams, hopes, positiveness, ever smiley face. But now, I don't even dare to hope because hope brings dissappointments, I don't even dream anymore, simply because I just don't believe anymore.

I just realize something today - I AM NOT HAPPY.

Bid da beads!

Hi fellow friends...

Recent facebook photo craze got me thinking about it's a fantastic tool for a little creativity ~~

I've bought a whole bunch of items from Bali, thought selling them here in KL. So got time today to take a few shots of the beautiful accessories... and hope that they will all go to their rightful owners.

Here is the link for you to be part of this fun game of bidding! Starting price is extremely cheap! go bid ~~ and be the best bidder to take away your items.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=63980&id=706070691&ref=mf

Check them out!!

If you are interested in biddng - add me as your friend with the brief password - BID.

If this works out great - I am thinking of other items like Balinese furnitures!!

Stay tune!

what now?

OK OK. This is definitely what I’m going to say... “You know that we might not be right for each other, but I wanted to let you know that I ......” Damnit! That’s too emo. OK OK try this version... “Look, I like you, You like me ....” NO NO... that’s too macho-iee..

Why do we always end up this way? We are confident and stable in usual state; however, whenever we are in front of someone special – the dang-est thing will always happened. I had a few case myself, I was alone with this guy on a beach (a couple of years ago...), it was going to be a romantic kiss... until I RAN off... haha.. I RAN (literally ran...) Poor dude, he must have felt bad or something.

I’ve seen so many dramas in which when the guy confess – he always screw it up... but how do you pick up from there? How do you change the mindset in which you ‘accidently’ placed on the special someone.

Let’s say – you find this incredible funny guy, cute, adorable, smart and he’s quite good looking ~ someone potential. And let’s say you messed it up accidently and it's something you can't take it back. Now, he think of you differently ... like you are not serious about relationship...

Do you...

1. Call him up an explain to him "actually... i'm not like that... "
2. Fuck it. NEXT~~~

Guys... please do tell your opinion.
This is very useful for us girls... (not only me ;p)

Good luck ~~ my friend ~~~