Couldn’t sleep. Closed eyes but mind just thinking of him. Think about the shoulder that was just comfortable. The perfect scent that keeps you safe. Almost felt the gentle kiss on your cheek. Open eyes. You’re still here. Alone.
I start thinking about the last relationship that I was happy with and enjoyed that feeling of love... it was when I was in the long-distance “pen-pal” relationship. That feeling – when you’re just shining even though you just had the worst day in the world. That certain feeling that warms you up at night knowing that you have someone who loves you and cares for you. SIGH. It’s just so funny.
I watched the movie – Ugly Truth today. Brilliant movie I think. Lust – blue balls last you for 3 hours? Love – hurts you for 3 years. People laughed at that thought. It’s true though. It’s tough to draw that line between ‘lust relationship’ and ‘love relationship’. Which makes you happy deep inside?
I realize I’m in this mode where I get all mushy and lovey to a guy that does not exist. Symptoms includes when you’re making excuses for the guy’s absence in your life. You painted this romantic scenery where he in fact brought you to a dumpster. You cherish his 5 minutes call even though it was you that SMS him in the first place. You paint this love story that you began. You’re so engross about making it the perfect love story that you’re hidden between the lines of your own love story.
I realize that I was also happy when I was in the relationship with Mr. J – he was not physically here, but I painted that PERFECT boyfriend image in my head. Not saying he’s not good. But I want to point out that I was in fact happy painting that picture. Weird.
9 comments:
"I start thinking about the last relationship that I was happy with and enjoyed that feeling of love... it was when I was in the long-distance “pen-pal” relationship. "
i've never had a "pen-pal" like that!...........
Hi hi.
That's exactly what I'm trying to say on my entry. It's because I painted that picture that I'm so in love ... you know what I mean?
I painted the picture to love that man - but it's not real. It's happy to have that feeling... :)
hehe, the real one not so "good" ? :(
If I was in my painted self - would say romantically "the real deal is better!"
We never had the chance to know what the real one is like. :)
no chance for the real one, a long-distance relationship, was he married :(
it ended before he came back :)
he's not married.
was bad timing - fate did not tie the time line together. :(
Long distance relationships (LDRs) are one of the most challenging type of relationships to have - from a ladies perspective, especially one who thinks too much. But I guess, they can't help it.
Also, I'm very sure everyone paints a picture of their perfect person. I guess that's life and that's how we were created - individuals. :)
Life can be dull if we don't get it painted.
Over painting can cause you pain and fainted.
Life is yours, paint it free and free to paint...
Danny - well I beg to differ about the comment about female. Well, yes - we think a lot. But...
Trust is always there at first - when trust was burst into tears... the trust is no longer there.
:)
Mr. Poetic. Nice :) it's all about THE moment where you were happy when painting.
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