Ending 2010. Starting 2011

I’m glad that 2010 is going to end soon – can’t wait to 2011. It’s gonna be great!

2010 has been great year for me - it's been up and down, no dull moments. Family is great, my elder brother had our first ever generation of Lo's - he's adorable. He's now on my phone wallpaper to make me smile. My younger brother has gone off to college, and living the TEENAGE dream - has a beautiful girlfriend and so loving. Mom is great - she's so independent now - I am so proud of her. As for Chai Chai - the man of my life - he's still adorable and cute in his very own way.

Work's been great - closed a few big deals - got to see how politics work in a big company. Career path is on track - we've got a great leader who inspires me. I love that.

Love - it's just so messy - it's hard to understand. So many times - I felt sooo lost, felt like a hypocrite, felt like a slut, every single feeling there is - I felt it. But you know what? It made me stronger and more matured. It has built me up to be like a robot - I feel like I could never love again. Am I wrong to say that I don't believe in love? Maybe the time is not right, maybe I've not met the right guy. So many excuses were put out there for me to feel better. On this note - I am thankful for all my friends who are always there for me. Friends who laugh with me on my ugly side, friends who hugs me when I needed it.

People, I will love again one day - trust me - and when that day comes, it is Love, Faith and Hope that I would be thankful for. Without my friends and family - there will not even be the 3 elements that I could hold onto. To everyone who has touched my life in every different way - from the bottom of my heart - Thank You. Thank you soo much for loving me.

Happy New Year!

With lots n lots of love,

Jolene :)

Trip to Bangkok

It's been a while since I last blogged about my trips.

It was a very last minute planned trip to BKK, however, I enjoyed every last bit to it. The country is just simply refreshing and I had soo much fun!

I could actually imagine myself living here. Having my weekends going to Platinum Mall - strolling for new outfits every week. Going for a full body massage for only 250Baht to de-stress. Eating authentic Thai food every weekend. I COULD live here!

Seriously, you need to try this restaurant when you go to Bangkok! This is THE BEST of the BEST Thai food you'll ever tasted!

Ruen Mallika - Awesome Thai Cuisine!

This is salted egg - squid.. nice appetizer :)

Famous Pad Thai!

Duck Curry - wah.. the best!

Romantic Settings... Indoor and Outdoor

Doesn't this look like Dicks coming out from the ground?

The trip was 60% shopping, 30% food and 10% sleep - it was just simply amazing!

Coming up next - Hen's Night... interestingly enRICHing.

300510

Hey all, just in case you were wondering how I was… I’m absolutely doing fine.

It’s been few months … I don’t know how to use her new laptop. Took me a while to learn how to unlock her password.

I noticed I came into her life for about 6 years… seeing her through ups and downs makes me understand her a whole load better.

She’s changed a lot. She used to cry a lot about her love life – now she just talks about it – tears a little bit.

I don’t understand how is it that she says she’s only successful at work and she just sucks at love.

Love is something that falls into the place – you don’t really get to control it. Then again – I’m no one to be commenting on it.

She said recently she’s been seeing people through all walks of life. She says she’s no longer taking the chance like how she used to.

She doesn’t party anymore, she goes out for business dealings, she goes to the gym. How on earth is she suppose to meet “someone”?

It’s funny to see she’s changed her lifestyle – she used to go out a lot until middle of the night. Now, she’s home by 2am.

She spends more time with me – loving me and bathing me. It’s great! But I want her to be happy too!

Few weeks ago – I could sense she was happy. Something happened.. she’s not saying anything at this point of time.

Let’s find out…

xoxo..

Chai Chai

I can't make you love me

turn down the lights
turn down the bed
turn down these voices
inside my head
lay down with me
tell me no lies
just hold me close
don't patronize
don't patronize me

i can't make you love me if you don't
you can't make your heart feel
somethin' it wont
here in the dark,in these final hours
i will lay down my heart
and feel the power if you wont
no you wont
cuz i can't make you love me
if you don't

i'll close my eyes
then i wont see
the love you dont feel
when your holdin' me
morning will come
and i'll do whats right
just give me till then
to give up this fight
and i will give up this fight

HE is just NOT into you!

It's often that human beings are just not reading each other right.. It's also often that human beings are just different and the perception of things are just simply ... DIFFERENT.

I've derived a couple of "insights" according to myself to show female thought process of several situations... (well.. I'm not speaking on behalf of all female population here.. let me just quote that).

1) Situation : You guys seem to get along pretty well.. and you are just waiting for the next date. But.. HE DOESN'T CALL. What does that mean?

What a girl would do - is to make thousands and thousands of excuse to herself about him not calling. (Excuse Thought Process - ETP)
"He's probably busy with parents. He's probably working on a project that is very important. He's probably hanging out with friends.. His friend is probably in trouble and it's too complicated to even explain. He'll call when he's free."
2 days later...
"He's probably has another date to attend to.. He's travelling? Maybe I should just dial his number to see whether he's in town. But that's no good. That would make me look desperate. Need to have my "mojo". He'll call when it's the right time."
Saw him with another girl...
"She's probably his client.. quite hot though I must say. She is thinner than me.. She has nice hair. Let's just Facebook her and find out whether she's single or not. Hmm.. she has a lot of photos taken with him... They look good together. It's okay.. they are not together officially on facebook. He'll call me when he's heart broken."

ADVICE : HE is just NOT into you!

2) Situation : You went out couple of dates.. and it was good! Happy dates - good company. But you start to notice the pattern - that if you don't initiate the conversation.. he won't. But if you do - he continues to have a chat with you.

ETP : Wait. He connects with you when you talk to him - that's the point! Who cares about who initiate it first? He is TALKING to you isn't he? So what if we initiate the conversation MOST of the time.. er.. hmmm.. when is the last time he initiated? ... But he bought the dinner and drinks.. if he's not interested why would he waste his money? He told you that he thinks of you when he wakes up.... Think again.. it was you that initiated the question - Who did you think of when you wake up?

ADVICE : HE is just NOT into you!

3) Situation : You SMS and he doesn't reply. You are stuck in this fantasy world where the previous things that happened - stayed and you don't want to accept what's the REALITY.

ETP: "He told me he loves me.. He told me I was the woman that wants he wants to have his kids.. He told me he's not playing. He told me time is just not right... He wants to focus into achieving something else first before being with me. He said that he wants to bring me to a holiday and ask me to focus into that."

ADVICE : HE is just NOT into you ... ANYMORE.

When you look into my eyes - I grow stronger...

"It's already hard for me to say anything at this point of time... our story started off
when I leaned on your shoulder. Today serves as the very important day for the both of us.

On the romantic beach where we could be exactly who we want to be - there you held me in
your arms and I felt safe. We both felt it was weird to feel how we feel about each other
at this point of time.

We'll never ever find the reason why that "so sure" feeling, but we both felt it. Eventhough
time was not on our side - I've never ever felt so strong about someone ever before.

Ever had both the most happiest time and saddest time of your life on the same date? That was
our "break-up" trip to the mountains.

You read my mind - no one has ever done that before .. it's amazing how it just felt so
right. You couldn't imagine the things that I was willing to do for you.. The crazy ideas
that I had in my head - but it's worth it.

You slept next to me, you love to hold me and I love to be held. It was an assurance that
you promised to show up for the afternoon gathering - it was a way of assuring me to put my
100%. It was disappointment but it pushed you to a limit in which you said "I'm not ready
for this kind of commitment yet." That hurt, but guess what? That was the truth.

I will never forget what we had - and what we will have in future. I love to live in a fairy
tale and this is my fairy tale - One day, you would show up in front of me telling me
"Sweetie, will you promise me to insult me for the rest of your life?" I would say "yes"
still...

I'm writing this before D Day - and I'm only posting this on D Day. If you gave up our fairy
tale before this post, was your decision at that point of time - and you should learn to
live by your decision. Be true and stick to your decision ok? I'm happy for you and I'm
glad to have that chance of feeling LOVE :-). I might be an idiot to wait - but I promised."

My dear friend - the person who is telling the story, love is always around, and don't ever
say you will never love again - as you've learnt that love do appear when you least
expected. When you say that - it hits you hard to learn that there are many cupids out there.
Don't give up - as Life is like an hour glass - when it's down - there is someone out there
to turn it around! Don't worry - Everything Happens For A Reason!